The Roguish Years
by Muroun
Summary: Drabbles about Rogue as she grows into an adult. Mostly Rogue but some Romy & maybe other couples later. Enjoy! In response to the questions I got, I deleted a chapter, if that helps.
1. Introduction

Ears

That day while I was sitting in the clinic, and for once in my life

Since my powers first manifested there was complete silence.

None of the psyches pounding in my head.

No AFI or Garbage to keep the beat with.

No Kitty to fill the atmosphere with her "girl talks"

Just quiet.

Silence wasn't golden, or peaceful.

It wasn't loud or deafening.

It was just…a sign.

Of what?

The loneliness I was feeling?

The emptiness?

I just couldn't stand it.

It was suffocating me.

And I was dying.

I felt the darkness clouding my life. The string keeping me alive.

The Silence consuming me.

But within it I could breathe.

Finally.

I let the string snap.

Carpet

Walking across the carpet, while wearing my favorite fuzzy socks. I waited patiently for my annoying little brother, Kurt, to come down already. I mean all he had to do was push a button on a watch. How long could it take?

Continuing the process of rubbing my socks across the carpet, I heard a *bamf*, fully knowing what that meant I ceased my movement.

"Hello, meine Schwester! Wie sind Sie heute morgen?" he greeted.

Feeling the heat in my legs leaving me, I touched him. He jumped, his fur standing on end.

"Oops! Sorry Kurt!"

Then I let out a laugh which caused a trigger reaction of laughter from me. When I looked back up, my little brother was giving me a glare, I mean nothing compared to mine, but it was still uncommon from him.

I just turned away, shaking my head, and picked up my book bag. Knowing all to well, he would get me back.

It was nice having a little brother.

Chess Board

"Rogue, the Professor would like to see you in his office," wondering why I might be needed, I thanked Scott, and went off to see what was wanted of me.

I reached up to knock on the door, but before I could he called me in.

"Damn telepaths…" I muttered, it always creeped me out when he did that.

I walked in, and he gestured to the seat in front of his desk. Sitting upon the desk was a Chess board.

"Do you play?" he asked.

Assuming he was talking about Chess I nodded.

"Would you join me, I cannot seem to find a good move?" he asked.

Referencing back to the old days, before I joined the X-Men, when I used to play with Erik, I moved his knight. Effectively blocking off the other King from taking his.

"I never saw that before…hmm," putting his fingers in that steeple position.

"Is that all, Professor?" I asked, wondering if that was the only reason he wanted me.

"No, Rogue. I actually needed to ask you about something," I raised an eyebrow urging him on.

"How would you feel about Mystique joining the X-Men?"

Bathtub

I felt like drowning here and now. Would anyone care?

"No," _she _said, "Why would they?"

Ignoring the voice, I questioned that. Kurt might care, he would blame himself. Even though it was out of his control, but eventually the feeling of abandonment would fade.

Just as my memory would to so many others, the Untouchable…a sad story, terrible loss.

Logan would also blame himself, just as he did when I lost control, Scott would be disappointed in me, I took the cowards way out. Professor, he would wonder for weeks, how he couldn't have seen it before, but all the same, he would reassure the students, always the reasonable one. Life would still go on. The hole where I used to rest, would be filled. A knock on the door brought me back to reality, how could I hear that underwater? Not wanting to surrender, I remained.

"Rogue?" my roommate's voice called out, "Is everything okay in there?"

Hmm, did I sense concern?

"You've been in there for an hour, I'm getting worried." she said, a state of nervousness in her voice.

She waited another second before saying, "If you don't respond, I'm coming in myself."

Seeing as how one way or another, I was going to lose I came up for air. Gasps were heard in the silent air, I swallowed the gulp of oxygen.

"No! Don't. Ah'm fahne Kit, be out in a minute."

"Are you sure your okay, Rogue?" she asked, sincerely.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." I responded, with a hint of hoarseness

Hearing her footsteps, heading back to our room. I waited until they were gone, before I hefted myself out of the tub. Unplugging the drain with my toes I dried myself off, turning towards the mirror I stared at myself. And for some reason felt a pang of relief

I had a feeling I would survive, pull through it, life _would_ go on. But this time I would be in it!

Adult

I tripped a little as I walked into the Mansion, I am still unsure how I got through the gate

I mean it wasn't even closed, which caused suspicion even in my foggy head. Logan NEVER left the gate open, especially at, I glanced toward my watch, 3 am. In the morning. I knew it was late, but not _that _late.

I saw a flash in the corner of my eye, and the hairs on the back of my stood up. My insticts were clumsy, and my body felt weighed down. Knowing this I figured my reflexes would be fairly similar, so I turned to them.

"Stripes…" he growled. The nickname gave it away, if the gruff growling did not. My body relaxed knowing I didn't need my guard. Though I doubted my body was in any state to provide any assistance.

"Where the hell were you?" he yelled, not loud enough to wake anybody but enough for me to see his point.

"Its 3 am. Way past the time anybody should be out! I had to keep the gates unlocked for you, after figuring out you snuck out to hang with that Acoylote!" he growled.

I was shocked at the tone he was using with me, I could tell he was pissed. I walked past him and went into the kitchen, opening the fridge. I flinched at the light, and seeing a bottled water I hurriedly grabbed it.

I turned and walked straight into him, I jumped. It was like running into a brick wall…ugh. It jarred my head, causing me to stumble dizzingly to the ground.

"Ugh…that hurt.." I groaned, then giggled suddenly.

"You were drinking too!" he yelled after stiffing the air.

"Just a little liquor " I said in defence, " Not enough to get hurt or anything, Gawd..relax a little Logan"

"_**Relax**_? Relax? How do you expect me to relax when your out at night, partying and drinking with the enemy?" he yelled, there was no way the others could be sleeping with him yelling his head off.

"Gawd, Logan…couldn't you be any quieter? Gambit is a nice guy, okay?" I mumbled, feeling the affects of all the alcohol, beginning to take affect.

"Yea, and I'm the Tooth Fairy. Now get up to your room now!" he commanded, there was no option in his voice.

After giggling a little, because the image of Logan in a Tutu was too funny to resist, I responded.

"Listen Logan, I'm eighteen! I'm an adult and can do damn well what I want, just cause you and the Prof have issues with Magneto doesn't mean I have to!"

He was beginning to look really tired, "Godammit Rogue…they could hurt you, how can I let you be around them knowing it could very well be the last time I see you…?"

I saw where he was coming from, but I knew them. "Logan, I have seen inside their heads, I lived with Mags once," he raised an eyebrow at the name, "they won't hurt me, _I_ trust them."

He looked at me, as though trying to see into my soul, then he walked slowly up to me. I wondered briefly what he was doing them he pulled his hands out of his pockets and wrapped them around me. Logan put his nose in my hair and breathed me in, I closed my eyes. Letting into his embrace, it felt…warm, and made me feel wanted. "I love you Stripes, I just don't wanna lose you.."

I pulled myself back and put my hands on his forearms, looking at him sincerely I spoke, "You won't, I can take care of myself. But if I ever do need help, I will ask. Okay?"

He gave me a small smile, and nodded lightly. That's when my head throbbed, and my knees gave out. "Dammit Rogue, how many drinks did you have?" he growled.

I felt him put his hand under my knees, and his arm on my back. He picked me up and walked toward the stairs, after he got into my room he layed me down on the bed. Took off my shoes, and tucked me in.

"We'll talk more in the morning, Stripes." he gently kissed my forehead. After I heard him leave, I rolled over. And drifted into sleep, anxious about the loud morning I knew was to come.

**Second Tries**

Suddenly I felt a strong push from behind, unexpected as it was, I caught myself before I fell. Knowing that if I did that would be the end of Rogue. I turned sharply, my body on a high from the adreniline rush of possibly dieing. I grunted as one of Juggernaut's fists connect with my face, I heard a crack. And screamed in agony, as I felt my body lift from the ground. I felt my world black out; the world around me fading away.

When I awoke again I felt a cold rush flood over me, and I couldn't breathe. My back was dieing, further preventing me from breathing. My muscles refused to move, and it hurt to much to try. I felt like curling up in a ball, but then I remembered that would help none. If I could even form my body into that position.

I opened my eyes, only to find I couldn't see a thing and my vision was blurred, I glanced around feeling there was a slight resitence against my movments. I realized I was under water, I tried to swim up but I felt a pang of pain behind my eye. Suddenly my body went rigid and my movements were ceased.

I felt myself float to the botttom of wherever I was, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't die! I'm gonna gain control of my powers soon, I think I deserve that! This isn't fair! I wanted to cry, scream, beg for mercy! I would do anything but I couldn't let go, for once in my life I had a reason to hang on. I couldn't let the world fade away from me without some answer!

I opened my mouth to scream for help but air flooded my mouth. I choked on the water and I began to fade again.

Fighting it with all my might I somehow managed to open my eyes slightly I saw a flash of something before the darkness claimed me.

-later-

I opened my eyes from my slumber to the morning light, last night had been a wild one. I had finally gained control of my powers after countless tries. And it was my own power, not a bracelet or some sort of spell that would break. I had overcame it, I'd grown.

I gave a light sigh, as I closed my eyes and turned away from the light only to come face to face with a beautiful sight.

A small smile grazed my still swollen lips, my arm moved toward his cheek, as I lighty layed my hand on it. His eyes greeted the face in front of him with joy.

"Bon morning, chere," he welcomed, " ow' is my gorgeous wife t'day?" he smirked.

"Mmm, wonderful Remy…" I didn't have a care in the world. I just wanted to lay here, "Remy? What day is it?"

"May 9th, why?" he questioned.

"Today was the day ah lived, and met you," I smiled, "Ah got a second try."

He lightly kissed my forehead and I was ever more grateful to return it.

The Feel Good Drag

I woke up that morning feeling strangely good, as if I was a little kid getting her favorite ice cream, or a husband finding out he is going to be a father. I was happy to be alive, and the ideas of what to do with the day rushed through my head. I smiled, lighting up my entire face.

I got out of bed, and nearly skipped over to the bathroom I took my time in the shower. Since the Professor thought it would be best for me to have a room further away from the bustle of the students dorms I had a room across from Logan. Lucky me! Storm also used this bathroom, her bath soaps smelled so nice and natural. How could I resist them?

After I finished my shower I headed back into my room to get dressed, I still had school of course. Looking through my closet all I could find were black clothes, when did this happen? Maybe I need to go on one of Kitty's dreaded shopping trips.

I sat down on my bed, I was actually having a difficult decision trying to figure out what to wear. Suddenly as though a flashbulb lit above my head, I got an idea.

I walked over to my dresser and went through the drawers until I found what I was looking for. In it was my white cashmere sweater, it was long sleeved and dipped into a v-neck. I had forgotten all about it until just now, Irene had given it to me a week before I ran off. I hadn't thought much about that, but a lot of strange instances had accrued leading up to my disappearance, perhaps in a way Irene was attempting to convince me not to leave.

I slipped it on over my black camisole and looked to myself in the mirror, I brought out my white stripes, and made my auburn hair darker. Against it my skin looked rather dark, practically tan. I pulled a pair of jeans out also and put them on. I still put on my converses (Hey! They're comfortable!) And sat down with my makeup.

Looking through all the color of eye-shadow I had, I couldn't seem to find one that fit my mood. They were all too dark, I continued looking and eventually debated I would just wear some light brown mascara. After it was applied I put in some dangly silver earrings I had. And turned to my hair, currently it fell around my shoulders in its natural curls. Within the last year or so I had let it grow out, and it now reached past my shoulders. I looked at it and decided to leave it as it was, it looked nice like that.

I stood up and walked to the door, I took a breath and made the long walk toward the kitchen. I passed all the hustle and bustle from the other dorms with little issues, nobody was up yet. Which was strange seeing as how I always awoke last, once I got into the kitchen I was really confused. Nobody was in here, and I mean nobody. I looked to the clock on the wall.

Suddenly my mouth fell open, the clock said it was 5:30 am. How in the world did that happen? I looked to the window and saw the sun rising over the horizon, when did it do that?

Shaking my head, I walked over to the fridge. I pulled out some eggs and bacon and got started on breakfast. After an hour or so I had finished, the smell was delightful. I made a large batch of pancakes & waffles, a bowl of grits, a pot of coffee, sausage, has browns, and a plate full of bacon. It started out I was making them for me but accidentally made too much bacon so I figured why not serve everyone.

I heard the elevator "_bing_", the Professor and Storm entered the kitchen. I looked over my shoulder from the sugar I was putting into my coffee, and greeted them with a smile.

"Morning!," I said. And blew the hair out of my face, and wiped my brow.

"Rogue, dear, did you make all of this food?" Storm questioned

I turned my body to face her and nodded, " Sure did, sugah, you're welcome to have all ya' want. Just leave some for the others, it would sadden them if they ran out." I said.

" It smells amazing Rogue, what are you doing up this early? You are almost always last up." Professor stated.

Just as I was about to respond, Kurt "_bamphed_" in, with Kitty in tow. After the smoke cleared, they looked around. Within seconds both their eyes had landed on me, they widened in shock and amazement. A smirk crossed my lips, but they continued to stare.

Kurt decided to voice his opinion, " Wow…meine Schwester…who replaced Rogue with you….".

Kitty thought so too, "Oh my God Rogue! (insert girlish scream) you look amazing! What did you do? Like how come I've never seen that shirt?"

"You guys want some breakfast?" I asked.

"Is that what I smell? Yum!" Kurt's face lit up in delight at the thought of fresh food. He quickly shuffled over and began shoveling the food onto his plate.

"Wow Rogue, what is with you? You're like cheery and stuff…" Kitty asked shuffling in behind Kurt hoping to get some food before it was all gone.

As I was about to respond and loud _Bang! _was heard upstairs, signaling the start of the schoolday morning. Last year I had graduated, I have been hanging around since trying to figure out what to do. Aside from doing odd jobs here and there, I work alongside Logan in the Danger Room. Scott & Jean had graduated a year before me, going part time to college and spending the other half teaching classes here.

"Whoa, real food!" Jamie said as he ran to get a plate.

"Grandma?" Sam asked in a tired voice as he came into the kitchen, "Smell's like Grandma is here." he looked around in confusion before getting his food.

As the rest of the students walked into the kitchen with confusion and surprise on there faces, I sat back and watched in delight. Today was a good day indeed….


	2. Closer To The Edge

Closer To The Edge

I craned my neck out in front of me to look over to side.

'Wow…that is a long way down' I thought to myself.

I had never really considered this before but as I glanced toward the streets below; it made since to me.

From up hear it was still fairly easy to hear the whooshes of cars as they flew by, and the honks from the impatient taxi drivers. There was so much life, and energy flowing from down there; people rushing to work or coming home from a long night.

He used to live that sort of life but that had long since changed. He fell in love with a girl, a woman now, and left that lifestyle behind. It was wonderful at first filled with warm feelings in your gut, and mornings waking up to the most beautiful sight in the world. It had its rough patches as all relationships did, of course their's had quite a many with her powers.

When Rogue gained control their relationship once again hit an all time high. There were new things to explore and discover, it brought much excitement. The best times came when Rogue announced she was pregnant. He was going to be a father, within the first hour every he ever knew had received the information.

He had informed his family even, they took it surprisingly well for the fact he was only twenty-six. Tante came up with Mercy and Henri to visit, they were introduced to Rogue and instantly fell in love with her, just as he had.

A pregnant Rogue was a Rogue to be scared of. She had the most mood swings of any woman he had ever seen, the strangest cravings, and all those other things women wanted when they were with child. He took care of her, with the largest smile on he could manage.

To say it was a relief when Rogue finally gave birth would be an understatement. But when he saw his little baby girl he was the happiest he had ever been in his life. She had the softest skin, like satin, under his rough callused hands. Her eyes were a bright green, almost as powerful as her mothers. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw she did not inherit his own, he didn't want anyone to suffer what he had been through. To have to wear sunglasses everywhere was a pain, the world was not ready to accept mutants fully yet.

She had ten fingernails, and ten toenails just the same. She was the sight of perfection, and she brought such a warmth to his heart. To be a father was a joyous thing, he could not imagine not loving her. She had light auburn tuffs of hair that decorated her small head. There were no signs of stripes coming in yet, and according to Rogue she was born with them.

It took awhile to get settled with a child, sometimes we would argue all night long. After we quit blaming each other and accepted that we both caused our own problems, it got better. It was like falling in love again, we went on dates every Saturday night. Having Scott and Jean baby-sit our little daughter.

I even quit smoking, for the most part. Occasionally on a stressful night I would sit back and take a long drag. Look at the stars in the sky up above until Rogue would come out to bring me in. Somehow she always ended falling asleep in my arms. It was like one of my dreams, I felt as though I was redeemed of all my past sins.

It could never last forever though, nothing could. The fairytale had to end, my past had overruled me once again. Belladonna came back and wrecked it all, my entire life fell apart. All I can remember is the look on Rogue's face, painful and hurt. She had been lied to, betrayed again.

I told Bella off, and explained what had happened to Rogue. The damage was still there though, like one of the scars on her wrist, it never goes away. We decided to move away from the hustle and bustle of life in the mansion. Taking our daughter with us we got us a nice little house. We started over, we hoped for the better.

Once again though, the past came back to haunt us, only this time it was Rogue's. She began to have nightmares, flashbacks, of her childhood. She would cry herself to sleep at night. Whenever I tried to touch her she would move away.

It was a little later that year when things took a turn for the worse. Apocalypse was back, this time he wanted revenge. The Institute needed our help so we returned for what we thought would be a short time. We were hesitant to bring our daughter with us, not wanting to get her caught up in this mess. We figured it would be worse to leave her without our protection, and brought her back.

"Grandpa Logan" as she liked to say, was very happy to see her. He had took to our daughter much as he had Rogue, they were practically inseparable.

Now I know, we were wrong to bring our daughter back with us. Apocalypse struck down upon the X-Men in a battle that brought great loss.

The funeral was one of the worst moments of my life, I buried my daughter, my best friend, and my father figure all in one day. The Professor brought many a grievers, anybody who had ever known the man watched silently as he was laid to rest. A long speech was given in honor of him. Piotr was also a very painful one to endure, I had known him for quite awhile. Kitty was in shock her body could not understand it all. My daughter's was the hardest, I know it was for Rogue she used all her strength not to cry but ending up breaking down anyway. I could not do anything for her, I was too overcome by my own grief. Maybe if I had reached out, we could have survived, I guess I will never know.

I took a deep breath and turned away from the edge, I glanced up in the sky in a silent prayer. This would not get me, I could overcome this. I was the infamous Remy Lebeau I could conquer anything. I held my head and made a move to walk away, I smirked 'I can rise above this'.

I began to step off the ledge when I lost my balance. My thief skills evaded me and my body fell back I could not stop the gravity pulling me down quickly. The wind rushed past my ears at surprising speeds, 'so this is what flying felt like'. I smiled, thinking of my _chere, _she could fly. Sometimes she would take me on little joyrides through the sky. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine this as one of those. It was the good old days before all my mistakes and crimes. My world was happy again.

A thought came to me and I did the math, I should have reached the ground by now… I took the risk and opened my eyes. Above me was the glorious woman I had fallen in love with. I smiled and closed my eyes, grateful for the redemption.

**To make up for the angsty stories I wrote, and will write. I like it, though I don't know what happened I just sorta closed my eyes and typed. Anyway, enjoy. ****J Oh and thanks again, to ****Rogueslove22****, and ****TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba****.**

**Love Ya!**

**-Muroun**


	3. Chill In The Air

**Disclaimer: **** I do not own the X-men, if I did I wouldn't be writing a disclaimer. **

A Chill In The Air 

I went outside taking a breather away from the mansion, and had reached the edge of town before I decided to turn back. A vein in my head had nearly exploded when _she _arrived. I couldn't believe they were willing to let her into the mansion, and worse was the fact they actually let her stay.

She had destroyed my entire childhood and turned me into an assassin, like her. I had strongly disagreed to letting her join. She would betray them, and kill them whilst they were sleeping, but he said that everyone deserved a second chance.

I was furious, so much that I was seeing white I wanted so badly to strangle him until he saw it my way. I guess I should be thankful to the professor for all his "second chances". If it weren't for them I would probably still be out on the streets of New York, fighting to make it through each day.

He made sure I remembered this fact, after all many of the students strongly objected to my joining the team too. They thought I might kill them like I had killed Carol. Mystique, she was different, she was not me. There was always some hidden plan amongst her mind, normally it involved me too.

Yet, there she was sitting in his office in her Raven form with her bags next to her side. I glared holes into her as the professor announced her arrival into the Institute. She had a callous smirk on her face, and looked at each of the students as he introduced them to her.

Now don't get me wrong, they weren't all totally happy about her being there either. The New Mutants couldn't have cared and truly didn't really want or need to be there. The rest of us were either being somewhat forgiving or pissed, now I bet you can guess who was who. The only people on my side were Storm, Logan, and Remy. Storm and Logan had no liking to Mystique and probably felt almost the same as I did. Remy was standing beside me, as my husband. Kurt was sort of in between he was willing to accept Mystique and give her a chance, but I assure you he was not sleeping with her around tonight.

She remembered a conversation she had had with Hank, Bobby, and Remy hours before she arrived.

"She speaks convincingly. You know...if she'd been different, she might have been such a power for good." Hank commented.

"Isn't that what they said about Adolf Hitler?" I responded.

"I'm wit' Rogue. Let's remember she used to be a terrorist. She tried to put us all in the ground on several occasions." Remy said, standing beside me.

"Ah, you're only saying that to cuddle up with your wife. Who actually turned out to be a real good X-Man herself...even though we used to say some pretty bad things about her, too." Bobby said.

I was walking down 5th Avenue when out of the corner of my eye I was a shadow of a man approaching me, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. I shoved my hands deep into my pocket and looked toward the ground but continued to walk.

He continued to near closer and closer, I slowed down. And popped my neck and knuckles before turning around to confront my stalker.

"Ya know, people might get some ideas when they have creepy men following them around at night down abandoned streets." I greeted _it. _

"Nice to see you too, Rogue." the shadow said.

" Unbelievable. Ya can try tah kill them and they still trust ya" I said with a menace in my voice.

"Come on Rogue, you know we were only playing our little games, no real harm was going to come." _it _taunted back.

"Show yourself Mystique, quit hiding." I demanded.

She walked out of the shadows as herself and fell back in step beside me.

"I promise Rogue, I have no plans involving your little friends this time. I am sincere in wanting to join." she said like a snake telling you to pet it.

"Yea, and ah love Logan! Too long ah have been denying my deepest most passionate feelings of smutty, sexy, lustful-but-fluffy LOVE!" I said sarcastically.

She stared at me before saying, "I hope you're kidding Rogue. If you're not we need to have a talk."

I shook my head, "Stop. Can ya not understand that word? Just stop trying to be a part of my life."

"Rogue-" she began, I didn't want to hear her and ran off as fast as I could.

I kept going until I reached the mansion gates. I typed in my password, and went up to my room. Remy was in there lying out fully on the bed. I stared at him for a few minutes before I walked over to him. I plopped down on the bed and cuddled in between his arm.

He wrapped his arms around my middle and kissed my head, rocking me until I fell asleep.

**Sort of a filler chapter, I really tired and slept 14 hours today. I kept you waiting three days already, and I know I hate it when you have to wait for someone to update. Oh and by the way I used a quote from the X-Men comics. I bet you can guess what it was. **

**I have quite a few people to thank. First I wanna thank my continuous reviewers: **

**TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba: ****I'm sorry I made you depressed… **

**Rogueslove22: ****I love writing Rogue Remy and try to include a little every chapter. **

**And to welcome my new reviewers: **

**Raven34Link:**** You reviewed every chapter…Wow. Thanks! ****J **

**Divine Divinity****: I totally agree with you, the dark ones are my favorite. **

**Ace-of-Cyberspace13:**** Thank you, I used your new word the other day. Hope you don't mind :p Its an awesometacular word! **

**Hope you enjoy it! Love You guys! **

**-Muroun **


	4. Angelic

**Here is a little special update for all you who viewed this or reviewed. Sorry if it doesn't fit your tastes. I really just write to satisfy the little voices in my head. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own this, really. If you don't believe me ask Stan Lee. Well I don't know, I may own the plot. Not the characters! **

**-Ellen Marie **

Angelic 

I remember her golden locks lightly laying upon her shoulders, her clear blue eyes gazing upon me. Like she could see into my soul, knowing her she very well could. She had that sort of air about her, very spiritual and earthly.

She was a lovely woman, doting wife, and warm mother, she was perfect. I remember how when she smiled, it lighted up her delicate face. Her laugh was hearty and carefree much like her. I loved her, if only.

Priscilla D'Ancanto, my dear mother. She was one of the few people that understood me. Of course I only knew her for 3 years before she died. Nonetheless, a mother is a mother. She took care of me no matter who I was. Until she no longer could, then she left me with him.

My father was a very bad man, though he wasn't always. He became an alcoholic a little after he lost his job, I was maybe 1 ½ or so. I can't seem to remember him before then but from what I know he was polite and caring. I wish I knew more maybe I would understand it, but I never will now.

On the very day of July 16, 1987 the child in me died. It was nine days before my 4th Birthday. Screams were heard from down the hall, I wasn't sure why but they weren't good. This wasn't abnormal for my parents, they often fought with each other. After the yelling stopped, Mom would come and pick me up. She would snuggle me between the crook of her elbow whilst tears ran down her face.

But on this day it was worse, the screaming was louder and things were being thrown. I was trying to block it all out by playing with my dolls hair, Mom had taught me had to braid it the other day. I had yet to master the skill but was quickly progressing.

Suddenly it got very quiet, I glanced up pausing to see if I could hear anything. The air was dead and tense, something was wrong. I let my curiosity lead me to stand up. To afraid to open the door I put my ear to it, it was too thick. I pressed it harder against the wood, only to hear a loud '_Bam!' _I jumped in surprise and ran to the window. Looking outside I saw a shadow appear on the ground it looked strangely misshapen around the bottom.

My father came into view in his hands was my mothers body, I gasped. I watched in horror as he carried her into the back yard, her body was…Oh god. She was…there was no way she could be alive.

That day I learned who my father really was, a cruel man with no conscience. It never really hit me what he did to me until I was out of that hellhole. He did terrible things to me, things someone at such a young age should never witness. I wish she was here with me sometimes. Like when Remy and I broke up for the first time, or when Evan died, sometimes you just want your mother.

**I wanted to get this published while I still had it fresh in my head. I was at Power of the Pen earlier and still had a writing vibe. I also want to apologize if this doesn't fit you're idea of Rogue's early childhood. I really enjoy your reviews I read them when I woke up this morning and they made my day. So thank you! Thank you for alerting too.**

**I also want to address the part that I said about Evan dieing, my next drabble will probably be about this. So a little bit of foreshadowing there! **

**Thanks for reviewing ****Sonar****, ****Rogueslove22, ****and ****TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba****! I really appreciate it! **

**Muroun out! **


	5. Freedom

Freedom

I finished straightening my hair and stood up . I wasn't sure if this was what I wanted, I had gone the last few years without it. I already knew way more than any school book could teach me. Could a book teach you how to fend for yourself? How to let go of all you know and own to survive? I scoffed imagining using algebra to avoid the vicious gangs of New York.

I threw all the school supplies into my book bag, supplies that had took over $100 to pay for. It would have took me at least a week to get hold of that sort of money, and most of it wouldn't have truly been mine. After I stuffed my $75 calculator in it I threw it over my shoulder, grunting at the weight it held.

I walked across Kitty's side of the room, covered in Backstreet Boys posters and the overpowering smell of Brittney Spear's latest perfume. How could anyone like trash like that? They faked everything, it brought a bitter taste to my mouth just thinking of them.

I was already late for school, without the fact that I had to actually get there. I used to grab a ride with my fellow Brotherhood buddies, but that was long since past and I hadn't seen them in a few years; so I couldn't grab a ride from them. No other students were around, and I couldn't imagine asking the adults for a ride. Not that I would want to, they would probably ignore my request anyway.

The only people who had even acknowledged my presence since I arrived were the Prof, Wolverine, Kitty, and Storm. The professor invited me, with one of his second chance speeches, he seemed to be the only one who actually wanted me here. Wolverine simply glared at me, and threatened me, then he stood outside our door all night listening for the slightest sound coming from inside.

Kitty had to acknowledge , I was her roommate. I can't see how this arrangement is going to work, we are polar opposites and she annoys the hell out of me. The only person who would be worse would be Little Miss Perfect Jean.

The Weather Goddess had enough politeness to greet me and welcome me into the mansion. I was awed by her grace and power. She just had this air about her that made you feel like a little weed to her flower.

I must admit though, the arrangements are wonderful, a warm shower, a comfortable bed, and a refrigerator stuffed full with food. The only sacrifice is my life, my morals, my ideas, my dignity, and most of all my freedom.

They have this weird thing called curfew here, we have to be in the mansion by 11 p.m. and lights out by 1 a.m. It makes no sense because that's when all the best stuff happens, when I pointed this out though I got a bizarre look.

They also don't like knives, I noticed this when I was unpacking my own collection and Kitty came in. I looked up when I heard a scream, she was standing there with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide as saucers. I smirked and picked my favorite up just for the hell of it, it flashed in the light. Kitty gasped and if it's possible her eyes got even wider, before I could do anything she ran off like road runner.

This was going to be hard, it was like a penitentiary without the bars. I bet if I pushed them far enough, I might be threatened with bars on my windows. We also have 5 a.m. DR sessions, nobody was up at five. Nobody! Luckily today was Monday, and they were only Tues. and Thurs.

I walked down the many flight of stairs, upon reaching the bottom I turned toward the kitchen. Storm was in there making pancakes, she looked up when I came in and smiled. I walked slowly toward the prize. There it stood, the most wondrous item in the whole house, I had gone without it for five years. I swear to god if anyone got in my way I would attack them using my awesome powers.

When I got close enough to touch it, I slowly reached my hand out to stroke it. A feral growl sounded from behind me, warning I was crossing into its territory. I felt like crying but instead whipped my head around to see the person who dared interrupt me from my prize.

He stood there, his arms folded across his chest, an indifferent look on his face. I glared at him, and took a deep breath getting ready to pounce. He raised an eyebrow and pointed at the clock. I glanced at it to see it was 10, I was an hour late to school. I quickly shrugged and reached for a mug. When I did a hand rested on mine, stopping me once again from my goal.

I tried to rip my hand away but I couldn't.

"Can I have my hand back?" I asked, giving him one more chance.

"Logan tends to get rather territorial about his likes, especially coffee." the weather witch announced from behind me.

"Well then he'll be glad to know, so do I. And I have gone the last five years without it." I said.

Logan smirked and removed his hand from mine. As fast as I could I filled the mug, and pulled away from the coffee maker. I took a very deep breath and smiled. Oh! How I missed the smell of fresh coffee.

I brought it up to my mouth and tasted the very strong flavors of coffee grounds and strangely perhaps a hint of whisky. Mmmm.

I drank it all in a matter of seconds before I set it down on the counter. I grabbed my bag and coat, before apologizing.

"Sorry, I must be off. I'm late." I said leaving the room.

I walked into the garage. Frankly, I thought it was the front door. Oh Well. I looked at the vehicles before my eyes landed on my new love.

It was perfect. Flames danced up and down its sides, reminding me of a certain pyromaniac. I ran over to it, and attached my bag to the back of it. I climbed on. Damn. There was no key. I referenced back to my old days and within a matter of seconds it was purring.

I knew who's it was, so I quickly brought up the kickstand and pushed myself off. I think this will be my ride for school now.

**I've had a very nice week, so I'm gonna be nice and update. This chapter is once again a result of my latest ****Power Of The Pen ****meet, so hopefully you like it. I have so many people I want to thank this week (wow…that sounds like a Grammy speech or something.) **

**First all my viewers, I really appreciate it. **

**Now my continuous reviewers:**

**Raven34link: ****Thank you, I really appreciate that you continue to review my story. It must be hard, lol. ****J**

**Rogueslove22: ****I agree, I would have pushed her over a cliff too. Thank you!**

**Thisisaname: ****Aww, thank you! I like that quote too, I am trying something new called "humor", let me know if I fail. **

**Divine divinity: ****You are so deep, it really makes me think about the story line and the relationships of the characters. I appreciate your little ideas of my stories it lets me view it from a different angle. I look forward to them with every chapter. Thank you! **

**Ace-of-Cyberspace13:**** I love you! You remind me one of my friends. I'm glad I made you laugh, your reviews are a pleasure to read. They make me smile, and brighten my day. Thank you!**

**Thank you all!**

**I love you!**

**-Ellen Marie **


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